Single Life

A few thoughts from my perspective .... 

 I have been single for a number of years now and have probably been single on average more than I have been involved in any serious long term relationship.

As a single person there quite often comes a few standard questions from others who are not. Questions like .... doesnt it get lonely? Why are you single? Why have you been single so long? oh and the famous What are you looking for? just to mention a few .... then come comments from people who Im sure mean well who offer up a meeting with this single friend or family member just at the answer "Im single" or that old cliche to make you feel better " oh you will meet THE ONE one day when its right", assuming you feel down about being single. Intriguing I find it all really how people think about single life versus being in a relationship. The more I come across these scenarios the more I think about it all. I do once remember having the cliche dream of finding the one, getting married, having a traditional kind of family as it was being taught to me to think and dream of at the time  .. but life went on and of all the dreams its the one thats never had major importance for one reason or another in my life and have to say may have even disappeared from my list of things I want to do, not sure .. life just carries on with little thought of it mostly. m sure there are benefits to finding that one loving, loyal being to share your times with but not so convinced that it is the be all and end all of things to have.

I find it interesting from a few angles, one being that when someone is not single it is not common place to ask questions like, Why are you married? It is instantly assumed you are lucky and happy and complete for having "another half" even if its far from the truth that you are lucky or happy where you are in your life with your partner, theres no offer of consolation like "there, there, I feel for ya, you will be single one day and I have just the pub to take you for your single life celebration" ... I mean ... in my life I have heard  far more complaints about (and met more) unhappily married people than I do hear of happily married or for that matter unhappy single people, (dont get me wrong I know there are those who are both happily married and unhappily single too) to me its intriguing why its always interpreted as a downer being single in alot of non single peoples eyes. Im sure most dont mean the oh theres gotta be something wrong with you way they put some things. Were us humans really designed to be committed, monogamous animals by nature anyway? Im not always convinced we are.

I ask ... is there really such a thing as THE ONE? Maybe there has been for some .. but really what does that mean. I have met a few who possibly could have been THE ONE, but now will never know .. and a couple I caught myself wishing I had more chance or opportunity to find out if they could be THE ONE  in brief moments .... but how do you know for sure? What if THE ONE destiny intended isnt what you want? What if there isnt ONE person who can give you what you need or want long term? What compromise is fair to make of yourself to allow THE ONE in your life? If you decide someone is THE ONE .. how do you know you wont miss the real ONE?

Answering questions in my view. Does it get lonely? .. yes and no .. I have been lonely in a relationship before and nowhere as happy as I am now, so really its a grey one to answer. I am one of the fortunate ones who love my own company and time to myself to do as I please. I have friends, dont fear the outside world and not socially challenged so really theres probably more no I dont really get that lonely in the answer than there is a yes. Im often far too curious about too many other things so dont really allow myself time to think about things that could possibly make one feel lonely to be honest. Independance is something I have always considered a gift to have and not been needy of another human around me constantly to function happily. In fact with some previous experiences Ive learnt I cant stand compnay 24/7. It irritates me to not have ample space and time to myself.

Why am I single? Why have I been single for so long?  ... like theres a reason. I just am. Its not through lack of opportunity or lack of meeting people wanting to give it a shot. Its a lack of saying yes and making time to spend with ONE particular person. Missi - shortened from Mission Impossible - is one good description and nickname that was given to me from one who tried to get me to say something other than no thanks for numerous years. I have come aware of the fact that Im plain selfish and happy being so for now. Its not an unkind sort of selfish, friends are unselfishly welcome in my world. I genuinely care and think both deeply and dearly of those few who I've share an intimate attraction to and those I call friend .. its just that I only think of my girl and myself in my big picture plans for the present moment. No reason, to borrow a term it just is what it is. Not saying I couldnt or wouldnt make room to think more of including another ... its just not a big thought on my mind to do so. I guess I dont feel dating fulfills many needs I have so dont think of going to such efforts. 

I guess that also kind of answers What am I looking for? ... Im simply not looking, my eyes arent closed fully but I cant say seeking someone is something on the list of things Im doing ..... I have considered at times what I would accept and the qualities I would like in a person if ever I was intrigued enough, but I dont seem to get intrigued very often at all. Sorry to say when guys open their mouths to speak on that level quite often I return to the music in my head. The few times I have been intrigued enough to do more than dismiss the whole idea immediately if not sooner, although gorgeous qualities and beings in their own ways, they just havent managed to keep me that way for one reason or another. Whether its a fault or not I walk away from difficult relationships far too easily as in my mind life is far too short to be spending years trying to "fix" something that in my mind shouldnt be hard work. I guess I have the opinion that a good relationship with someone should never seem like hard work. If theres more effort, tears or pain than laughter on average then I can think of better things to do with my time. Life is far too short and why live for that kind of destiny regardless of what it represents to the outside world. Also if your not going to be my best friend above all else you have no chance. After all what is a relationship? Its only a deeper form of friendship with a committment to not be sharing or getting your "benefits" with others in my eyes. Ive found that can be a bit too black and white for some, thats ok we dont all have to think alike.

You know the more I think of it I wonder if I even have what it takes in me to have one of those relationships that others are always aspiring to have ... that whole getting married, committing to one person ....  dont get me wrong .. its not a negative thought, its a realistic question of myself. Looking around at those in relationships, what I hear of and the things I think Im so glad I dont have to deal with.The lack of allowing room for such an idea to develop much in my life. The lack of interest in the whole "dating game". I guess I just dont need another human to feel complete and happy.

Im still intrigued why being single is viewed from an "awwww you poor thing" angle from some .... I see many benefits to single life that make me think that way of unhappily attached people. I wouldnt trade my single life for a mediocre relationship if you gave me a millionaire lifestyle. Continued Here